Rainbow Ridge/Conversations

When riding Big Thunder Mountain Railroad at Disneyland, one will ride past the town of Rainbow Ridge. When going by, conversations from inside of the town can be heard. These are transcriptions of them.

Conversation Transcriptions
Man at Bar: Hey, bartender! What do you call this rot gut? Bartender: Old Factory Whistle. Man at Bar: Old Factory Whistle? Bartender: Yep. One blast, and you’re through for the day

* Gunshots fired* Man: Quiet! You’ll wake up Calhoon! Man: Calhoon? Who’s Calhoon? Man: Calhoon’s the new lawyer fella. He had a little trouble passing the bar.

Barber: There. That’s the way you like it, sir? Man at Barber: Well, not quite. Could you cut it a little longer, in back? Barber: Sure.

Woman: Mind your manners, Sandhole! This here’s a respectable place. We have good, clean fun every night but Sunday. Sandhole: That’s fine with me, ma’am. I’ll be back on Sunday.

Barber: There, that’ll be six bits. Man at Barber: Six bits?! This is what I call a real clip joint!

Man at Bar: Hey, bartender. How about a double shot? Bartender: Double shot coming up! *Two gunshots* Man at Bar: Awww. I reckon I shoulda asked for a single.

Salesman: Gentlemen, I have here a new hair tonic that will grow hair on a billiard ball. Old Man: That’s great! Who needs a hairy billiard ball?

Zeke: Tell me, my hiddy Belle, why is there so much sawdust on the floor? Belle: That’s not sawdust, Zeke. Last night, that was all furniture. Zeke: Dog gone. I missed all the fun.

Zeke: Marvin, how about some dancin’-type music? Marvin: Sure, Zeke. You want a one-step or a two-step? Belle: Don’t make no difference, Marvin. One-step, two-step, they alls land on me.

Man: YAAAAOW! Why’d you drop that steamin’ towel on my face?! Barber: Because it was scaldin’ my hands!

Belle: Marvin, is it true you never took a piano lesson? Marvin: Yep, that’s true. And I can prove it. Drunk Man: You don’t need to. *hiccup* You just did.

Man: Zeke, did you ever notice how ol’ Marvin closes his eyes when he plays? Zeke: Yep. So kind hearted, he don’t wanna see us suffer.

Woman: You know, Harvey, you’re just like the band. You come in here fit as a fiddle, and you go home tight as a drum.

Man: What do you barbers have for grey hair? Barber: The upmost respect.

Man: Hey, are you Marvin? Marvin: Yep. Man: Well, I’m the piano tuner. Marvin: I didn’t send for no piano tuner. Man: I know. But everybody else did. Marvin: That does it! *Marvin stops off* Zeke: Come back, Marvin! Belle: He was only kiddin’! Zeke: We like your playin’!

Barber: Why Mr. Jones, I didn’t know you wore a tupee? Mr. Jones: Not many people do. I keep it under my hat.

Man: Say, sweetheart. Betcha didn’t know dancers run in my family. Woman: Well, I’m glad they run because they sure don’t dance.

Zeke: Howdy, pardner! Who might you be? Tex: I’m Tex! The fastest gun in Texas! Zeke: And who’s your sidekick? Luis: Luis. The fastest gun in Louisiana.